♫ Pi day, pi day, gotta get down on pi day. ♫
*I was designated in 2012 as a Knight of the Round Pie under the authority of the International Order of Pie Experts, which is a cool organization I just made up but we should all join it anyway.
Pumpkin Pie
Look, now that we are out of earshot of Pumpkin Spice Latte season, can we be honest about pumpkin pie? Pumpkin pie is the gruel of pies. It has no texture, no flavor (unless you count "squishy" as a flavor), plus it's STILL really bad for you, so what is even the point?
Even worse than pumpkin pie is pumpkin pie bought from a store. Nothing says "I'm punishing you for inviting me to things!" like bringing a store-bought pumpkin pie to someone's house.
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Minced Meat Pie
This is basically a hamburger without any cheese that has been put through a blender. Send it back to hell.
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Pecan Pie
I get it: Pecan pie has its devotees. If you spent three hours every Sunday with your aunt (you know, the one who called her backyard "the ORIGINAL PlayStation") eating this stuff as a kid, you are probably brainwashed into thinking that this is yummy or something.
But it is too damn sweet. And I am not unreasonable. I think pecans work very well as part of an ensemble, but as a solo artist, they are as effective as Michelle from Destiny's Child.
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