Oh the phlegm. So much relentless, unforgiving phlegm.
Nickelodeon / Via mommyish.com
1. Oh, I do not feel good. Not at all. Not one bit.
2. It's like the worst hangover in the world, but I haven't drunk since the weekend. Did I drink last night? No, no, I definitely have not consumed any alcohol.
3. So much pain. So much nausea. Oh, my I think I'm going to hurl.
4. That was gross.
5. Surely I can't go into work today?
6. God, even the thought of the train journey makes me want to vom — oh no!
7. That was exceptionally gross.
8. Can you skip work for the flu? Is that a thing? Cause these are not cute little sneezes. These are, I-have-to-make-sure-I-don't-blow-my-brain-out-through-a-nostril kinda sneezes.
E! / Via giphy.com
9. Should I really go all the way into work, and infect all those innocent people on the tube? In the office? No, I would be a bad person, a bad human, a bad global citizen.
10. So it is decided, I am going to take a sick day. An executive decision has been made.
11. I feel so gross.
12. I am in such a horrible state of limbo – I'm absolutely starving, yet the thought of food disgusts me.
13. Cereal – vom. Eggs – vom. Pancakes – vom.
14. I can't believe I just said vom to pancakes. I must seriously be ill.
15. Perhaps a plain slice of toast and some peppermint tea. The most inoffensive of all of the breakfasts. No way will this play havoc on my tummy, no way, no sir. A nice little bit of butter on my warm toast.
16. VOMCANO ALERT. VOMCANO ALERT.
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